Behind the Scenes
by kypHe
Summary: It's right when you think you know everything that you're proven wrong. This is your exclusive look behind the scenes. And it isn't always pretty.
1. Prologue

He seems perfect. And in some ways he really is. Actually, he's completely perfect. Starting at the crest of his tousled bronze hair all the way down to his expensive brand name shoes his sister insisted he wore. I believed it with my entire being, impossibly. To everyone else I supposed he was perfect and I was a less than favorable add-on. He certainly could have done better. I'm pale, probably just as pale as he is, and painfully average looking. Medium length average dull brown hair. Brown eyes. Not particularly curvy figure. And human. Painfully human. Frustratingly human. And he was—is—a vampire. It sounds insane. I had almost admitted myself in an institution when I even considered what he might be. But it's true. It made him so much more unattainable than he already was. Yet he chose me. For some reason. He tells me I'm beautiful, especially around others, and he's so tender with me—in public. He never makes me feel anything less than human. Which is the problem.

I love him. He's perfect. On paper, at least. Behind the scenes… well, I suppose nothing actually changed. But everything changed when we couldn't be overheard or seen. But it didn't matter. I was made for him and he was made for me. That was all that mattered. It had to be. I couldn't do better than him.


	2. One

**I have made a grievous error in the timeline. Bella is supposed to still be injured, and I'd completely forgotten, so as I update, I will also be revising the chapters up to the most recent update, and then continuing along the timeline. As a little AN, I will be pretty canon in terms of timeline, while tweaking certain things to fit my needs. I mean, is this fanfiction or is it not? Amirite? Anyway, I'm pleased with the progression of this story, and I've currently got several new chapters under works, with ideas steadily flowing in from my frand Aintaru :3 and also my brain which is not always my friend.**

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It was mid-afternoon. The sun was hiding behind a thick cover of dark grey clouds, the threat of rain as present as always, even in the summer. All my chores had been done at least twice over, and I was currently laying on the couch upside down, my legs draped over the back and a book I had already read for my summer assignment in my hands. Another tragedy. High school was really good about pointing out that really good—or really bad relationships—usually always ended in tragedy hundreds of years ago. It was tiring to read, but also not bad at all. It didn't help that I was both a hopeless romantic and a reader through and through.

Anyway, it was a good day overall. Until I heard three quick knocks on the front door. I jolted in surprise, losing my grip on my book, dropping it on my face. I rolled backwards off the couch with a dexterity I'd never before possessed with a groan, holding both of my hands over my nose. I blinked rapidly trying to clear the tears from my vision and pulled my hands back, grimacing at the sight of blood. My stomach churned in response and I held my breath, dropping my hands and hobbling to the front door, carefully unlocking it before all but running to the kitchen to wash my hands and face. My chest was starting to feel tight. I wasn't very good at holding my breath.

"Bella?"

"I'm in the kitchen." I called out after I'd rinsed my nose and hands. When Edward appeared, I was holding a tissue to my face with one hand and pinching the bridge of my nose with the other. "Hey."

"What happened?" He hurried forward, his speed always taking me by surprise, and pulled my hand back from my face so he could examine the damage. The concern in his expression melted away to reveal amusement. "This should be good."

He leaned against the counter as I explained. I moved to sit at the table and tilted my head back once I was sitting. There was a long moment of silence where I didn't really have anything to say. I was still forever grateful to whatever omniscient being had made me immune to Edward's mind reading gift. Sure I had nothing to say, but mostly because I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I knew he wouldn't like it. He never liked when I mentioned Jacob, let alone asking if I could visit my childhood friend.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hm? Oh… nothing, really." I said, balling my tissue in my fist. "It's not important."

"Bella, you can tell me anything."

I glanced at Edward, frowning. "Well… my dad asked me this morning if I would like to go down to the Reservation with him. You know, to visit Billy and Jake. Before you say anything, I know you don't like it when I go down there. I know. But I haven't seen Jake in over a year by now, and I don't really think it's fair that you keep me away from him. I mean, he's like the brother I never had I guess. He's family to me. And Billy asked Charlie if he was going to bring me so—"

"You can go."

"—what?"

"I said you can go." Edward smiled, stepping forward and leaning down, tilting my face up so he could meet my eyes. "I won't keep you from your family. Enjoy yourself, love. I need to hunt anyway if you want me to stay with you again tonight."

I nodded, practically grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you! I should probably call Jake and let him know that I'll be coming with Dad when he gets home from work." I paused. "Or maybe I can go early."

Edward's smile faded slightly. "I don't know about that."

I wrung my hands together nervously. "I mean, I won't if you really don't want me to go but… I mean, I remember Jake saying something about building a car and I thought it would be nice to see what he's working on and…" I trailed off as his expression only grew darker. "Edward?"

"I don't like it."

"Why?" I suddenly felt defensive. "Jake has never done anything to you."

"It doesn't matter why." He snapped, gripping my arms. "I don't like it, so you won't go without Charlie. And that's all I'm going to say about it."

He held my gaze for a few more seconds before letting go of my arms, turning towards the front door. He left without another word. I let go of the breath I'd been holding, trying to ignore the throbbing in my arms. I would have massive bruises for sure.

Not five minutes after Edward had left, I could hear Charlie's cruiser rolling into the drive.

"Hey, kid. You ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah. I just need to put some shoes on." I said, pushing myself up from the table and walking towards the front door. Charlie was standing there in his usual jeans, plain shirt, and flannel and I raised an eyebrow as I sat on the stairs, pulling on my shoe. It's not plural because I still had to wear this stupid boot sometimes. I switched between the boot and a support brace, one for walking, one for relaxing at home when I wasn't walking. It was annoying. "Whoa Dad, didn't know you could go to work in casual clothes."

"I was at the station all day doing paperwork. I don't always wear my uniform on days like these." He said, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. "What happened to your nose, Bells? Looks like you hit it pretty good on something."

I rolled my eyes at myself. "I dropped my book on my face. Don't laugh."

"How'd you manage that?"

"I was reading upside down." I said as I stood. "It'll be fine. Hopefully it doesn't bruise, but knowing me, it will. I'll probably have a black eye. I'm glad I don't have school for another month and a half."

Charlie chuckled. "Well, we'll put some ice on it when we get to Billy's. Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." I said as I grabbed my bag with the hook. It held my support brace and a book. I'd gotten it ready just in case. I liked to be prepared for all possible scenarios nowadays.

The ride was quiet. As it turned out, my dad and I were near carbon copies of each other. In terms of personality, at the least. Neither of us ever had much to say to each other, and while some people felt the need to fill the silence, I found comfort in it. I assumed my dad did, too. I didn't really enjoy the silences with Edward, though. If I didn't talk, I felt like I was hiding from him, simply because he couldn't read my mind. He never failed to ask what I was thinking. I didn't always want to answer him. I liked having some of my thoughts to myself. So I lied sometimes. And the few times he realized that were… less than favorable for me.

"We're here." Charlie said suddenly, killing the engine. "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry, Dad."

"If you say so." He said as we walked up the porch steps. Jacob answered after the first knock, probably having been waiting for us by the door. As soon as he saw me, he scooped me up into the most crushing hug I've ever received. I laughed and couldn't help but hug him back before he set me down and held me at arm's length.

"Jeez, Bella. Run into a wall? What happened to your face?" He laughed, shaking his head.

I sighed. "I dropped a book on my face."

He hesitated, his eyes going wide. And then he doubled over with laughter, clutching his stomach. I sighed again, loudly, and rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright. Ha ha, it's all very funny. I need ice."

"Sure, sure." He straightened and turned to walk inside, rubbing his eyes, still chuckling and muttering under his breath about falling down flights of stairs and dropping books on faces. I would never live this down. "My dad is in the living room. The game is gonna start soon. I'll bring out some beers for you guys after I get Bella some ice."

"Sure thing, kid. Thanks."

I jumped up onto the counter as Jake walked over to the deep freezer after grabbing a cloth and stuffed a few handfuls of ice into it. He handed it to me and I pressed it against my eye, sighing in relief. I hadn't actually realized it'd hurt so bad until I put the ice on it. He laughed again.

"I'm gonna bring out their beers really quick. When I get back, wanna go out to the garage? It's better than sitting inside until dinner. We've got a few hours to kill."

"Sure, sure." I mocked him. He rolled his eyes, grabbed a six pack from the fridge, and left. While he was gone, I set the ice pack down on the counter and pulled down the sleeve of my sweater so I could see my arm. The throbbing had dulled a little but it was still persistent. I could already see the bruises blooming blue and black, too dark too soon against my pale skin. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It's okay, I tried to reassure myself. Edward didn't know he'd grabbed me so hard, and I didn't tell him. That's all. He didn't know. Not to mention I'd antagonized him a little by trying to leave early. I knew what he was going to say. Or I should have known. It was my fault.

"What'cha doing?"

I snatched up my sleeve and straightened too quickly, bumping my head against the cabinet. "Ow…" I grumbled, rubbing the back of my head and glaring at the cabinets from my peripheral vision. "Nothing. Ready?"

Jake helped me down from the counter without a comment and we walked silently (and slowly) towards the garage. Damn this boot.

"Jake!"

We both looked up, startled.

"Oh, hey Quil. You remember Bella."

Quil glanced at me with a smile. "Oh yeah, hey. You were here forever ago it seems like. When we were all on the beach. You had uh… that girl with you." His cheeks colored slightly. "What was her name again? The one with the dark hair and glasses."

"Angela."

"Right, Angela. Her. She was nice." He shook his head. "Anyway, I came here to ask if you wanted to come down to the beach. Everyone's there. We're having a bonfire. You can come too, Bella, if you want."

"That sounds like fun." Jake looked excited as he turned to me. "Wanna go?"

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

"Awesome. Emily brought stuff to make sandwiches and whatnot. With all of us there, there won't be anything to take home." Quil laughed, walking a few paces ahead of us. "When I left to find you, some of the guys were wrestling. I was gonna join in but I thought you might've wanted to, also. And Bella, I think you'll like Emily. That's Sam's girl. She's real nice. Just... don't stare."

"Alright."

As we approached the sand, I asked if we could stop so I could take off the boot. I didn't want to get sand in it. Jake held me up while I pulled it off carefully and I gripped his arm as he shoved it in my bag. It was a bit of a tight fit, but it worked. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me up off my feet mostly, stepping over driftwood and moving around large rocks, so I didn't have to put too much weight on my ankle. If I fell, I was a goner for sure. I couldn't help but notice how warm he was, we were so close. Had he always been like this or was he getting sick? I didn't know.

"Jake, you made it!"

"Hey, Embry." Jake grinned, bumping fists with his friend. "You remember Bella."

"Yeah, sure." Embry nodded in my direction. Then he grinned at Jake again. "Come on. Jared and Paul are going at it now. I've got my bets on Paul right now. He's pretty pissed about losing the last fight with Sam."

"This should be good. I'll be over in a minute. I'm gonna introduce Bella to Emily."

"Gotcha."

We watched as Quil and Embry ran off in the direction of the rest of the guys and then turned and walked towards the ginormous mountain of driftwood they'd collected and stacked for the bonfire. A young woman with long dark hair and russet skin was sitting on a blanket laid out in the sand, laying out stuff for sandwiches already. Her hair hid most of her face while she was looking down, but when she noticed our approach, she looked up and revealed three jagged scars along the right side of her face. She smiled and stood, walking around the food she was preparing to meet us halfway.

"Jacob," she held out her arms for a hug. "I haven't seen you in weeks. You've grown a lot since then. How are you?"

He grinned, letting me go long enough to give her a hug. "Eh, I'm alright. I've been eating my dad out of house and home. He complains but doesn't really get mad. You?"

"The same as always. Who did you bring?"

"This is Bella, Charlie's—Chief Swan's—daughter. We've been friends since we were kids."

"Then I guess you haven't been friends for very long, have you?" She teased, turning her attention to me and ignoring Jacob's protests. "I'm Emily. I'm very pleased to meet you. I've actually heard a lot about you from Jacob. He never shuts up about you. The guys are almost sick of it."

"Hey!"

"Kim should be here any minute. She's bringing a few last minute things I forgot. The bonfire was kind of a last minute decision on what to do for the day since we all finally have a chance to spend it together without working. Let's sit. You look like you've had a rough day."

Jake walked me over to the blanket Emily had placed and eased me onto it. "Well, I'll see you later Bells."

"Have fun." I called after him. Emily laughed as she sat down beside me. I adjusted how I was sitting and tried to help her out a little, but she gently swatted my hands away without a second look.

"So how are you liking Forks? I heard you moved from Arizona."

"I like it." I said honestly. "It's grayer than I'm used to, but it isn't as bad as my mom made it out to be. And I like living with my dad. We're a lot alike."

"I'm glad you like it. I had to move to the Reservation myself. I lived a little more north, but I'd been visiting some family here before I met Sam. At first we didn't really see eye to eye… but eventually he made me an offer I couldn't refuse." Her eyes grew distant as she talked, like she was remembering it all right then. Her smile, though made a half-grimace by her scars, was obvious even to me and full of so much love it shocked me. I'd never really known Sam. I knew he was bossy, and played a fairly small role in Jacob never really coming to Forks for a visit—Billy was the main culprit for that, always keeping him busy—but aside from that I didn't know him.

Emily blinked and smiled at me. "My family has its quirks but you'll learn to love them. Jacob seems very fond of you."

I laughed. "He's like a brother to me."

"It's one-sided puppy love." Said another voice. I looked up to see another girl who moved around the blanket to sit on Emily's other side and smiled at me, if a little shyly. She had smooth copper-toned skin, a wide face and slightly too thin eyes. Her nose and mouth were a little broad and her flat black hair blew wispy in the light breeze. I could see that she was very beautiful, if a little plain.

"I guess you could call it that." I shrug.

Emily smiles at the new girl, and I feel like I'm being left out of some insider thing, because they give each other a look that communicates better than actual words. The girl turns back to me.

"I'm Kim. You must be Bella." She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, but the wind yanks it back into her face. "It's very nice to meet you. Jared and the boys complain about you a lot."

This takes me by surprise. "They complain?"

"No they don't." Emily gives Kim a hard look and then turns to me. "No they don't. Not really. Mostly about Jacob, who seems to mention you in every other sentence. They're pretty much together all the time, so I could see how it could get a little tiresome. None of them probably need introductions to you at this point. They all know you as well as Jacob does by now."

"Oh, well I'm sorry." I felt a little bad. It wasn't my fault Jake couldn't keep his mouth shut. There wasn't really much I could do about it.

"It's not your fault, Bella. Don't worry about it." Emily reassured me. "I'm sure Jared is the same way with Kim and Sam is the same with me."

"Yeah they all probably know more than they want to." Kim laughed, and she and Emily shared another one of those looks that made me feel left out of their loop.

From that point until Emily lit the bonfire and Kim got up to call the boys up for the late snack, we just talked. Kim told me how she met Jared and I told her again how I liked living here and a little about why I moved. They learned a little about my relationship with Charlie and Renee and her husband and about my new friends at school. They joked with each other about how the boys seemed to fall over each other for me, but neither one of them ever asked about Edward. And I never brought him up. Though he was a constant worry on my mind.

"Hey, Bells! Getting along with the girls?" Jacob grinned, hurrying up the beach with Quil and Embry a few paces behind him, laughing and throwing punches at each other. He plopped down beside me while Quil and Embry kept a small distance. Sam came up and sat beside Emily, kissing her scars and saying something to her quietly, making her smile and her cheeks flush. Her eyes lit up around Sam much like Kim's did when Jared sat beside her, pulling her onto his lap.

I turned my attention back to Jake. "Yeah I am. It was nice to meet them. They're nice."

"I think so, too. Emily's like a mother hen to everyone. It's pretty cool. Anyway, you already know Quil and Embry. That's Jared over by Kim. You know Sam. And that's Paul on Jared's other side, already stuffing his fat face."

"Fuck you, Black." Paul growled around a mouthful of food, glaring at Jake. He glanced at me, but Jake's snicker pulled my eyes away before they met Paul's.

"He's really temperamental. At least, he's probably just mental. We just tack on the temper part of the word because he has anger management issues alongside being just actually crazy. Or that's what I'm told. We don't really get along."

I turned my eyes back to Paul, who was now glaring steadily at Jake. He glanced at me again when he noticed I was looking at him. He was as big and tall as the rest of them, with short black hair and deep brown eyes. For whatever reason his eyes looked different from the others but I couldn't figure out why. They were warmer somehow... or darker, like coals, maybe. His anger seemed to melt away instantaneously when he looked at me, which confused me and made me nervous, so I turned my attention back to Jacob—who was already saying something else to me.

"I know Dad has probably already started dinner, but we can stay a little longer if you want. Actually, I wanted to run something by Emily and Kim before we left anyway."

"What do you need, Jacob?" Emily asked, pulling her attention away from Sam upon hearing her name. Kim also looked up in curiosity.

"I was wondering if Bella could stay the weekend with you and Kim. You know, like a girl's weekend. You guys seem to get along pretty well, and Bella's out of school for the summer—"

My heart all but stopped. "Jake, I don't know. It's probably not a good idea. I just met her and Kim both and I really don't want to impose. Also, I got a lot of errands to run over the next couple of weeks and I still have school assignments to finish. I'm in advanced classes so I have more summer work. Jake, I really couldn't—"

"I don't see why not." Emily said with an easy smile. "It sounds like fun. You wouldn't be imposing, Bella, don't worry."

"I'm sorry, I really shouldn't." The dull throbbing in my arms pulsed in rhythm to my racing heartbeat, reminding me of how Edward had reacted to asking if I could leave a little earlier, before Charlie had gotten home to take me here with him. I could only imagine how he would react if I just didn't come home. Or if I did, he'd already be in my room, waiting for me. He'd never let me leave.

"Come on, Bells. Charlie would be thrilled to let you stay, I know it. He loves when you come to visit."

"I know but—"

"Jacob told me you like to read. We have a small bookstore in La Push. While you're here we could go if you like, pick out a few books for you to read. They're all written by local authors, so I'm sure you've never read anything in there. It'll be fun for you."

I sighed. They weren't going to let me say no. "I really shouldn't…"

Jake's grin got impossibly wider. "You're going to love it here."

"It's not that, Jake. I just…" I bit my lip, wringing my hands together. "It's nothing. Alright, I'll stay. I just need to go home and get my things and—"

"I'm sure Emily has some things you can fit, and we can buy whatever you need while you're here for the next few days. Don't worry Bella, we got you covered."

Emily's smiled wavered slightly, but her kind expression didn't change. "Of course. You're welcome to anything of mine."

"Oh no, I couldn't—"

"Bella. It's fine." Jake cut me off, shaking his head with a stern expression. "My only request is that while you're here, you relax and have fun."

"Jake—"

"Come on. Your dad is probably wondering where you are. I'll see you later, Em. I'll bring Bella around to your place when Charlie leaves for the night."

"Alright. It was wonderful meeting you Bella, and I look forward to having you over."

"It was nice to meet you, too." I smiled and waved. "Bye, Kim."

"See you later, Bella!"

Jake and I walked in silence, with Jake doing most of the walking. He'd insisted on letting him carry me on his back, and after giving in, he'd marveled at how heavy I was for someone so small. I shut him up with a smack on the back on his head. I could see the porch light on his house in the distance by the time I finally managed to summon the courage to ask him why he wanted me to stay on the Reservation so badly.

"I just missed you, Bells. Can't a guy miss his best friend and want her to stay for a few days? Who knows when I'll get the chance to see you again. Besides, it's cool that you hit it off so well with Emily and Kim. Neither of them really get out much, so they get a great friend out of it too. Don't worry so much." He glanced over his shoulder at me and then turned his attention forwards again. His expression was unreadable. "Do you want to stay?"

"I'd love to. Emily and Kim are great, but—"

"Your boyfriend wouldn't like it."

"Jacob!"

"It's true. I know it is." Jacob went quiet. We stopped by the front door and he crouched down, letting me slide off his back before turning to face me. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. "Does he hurt you?"

"No! He loves me, he would never do anything to hurt me." I defended, tugging on the hem of my sweater reflexively, as though making sure it was still there to cover my arms. "Is that why you want me to stay? To keep me from Edward?"

"No. I'm not going to assume anything." Jacob insisted. "I'll believe you when you say he'd never hurt you, if only because I trust your word that you wouldn't lie about something serious like that. I know you love him, so maybe I misunderstood… earlier." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I still want you to stay for a few days. You'll love it here."

"Jacob…" I sighed, shaking my head. "Alright. I'll stay. But only for the weekend, and then I do really need to go home."

"For your errands and schoolwork."

I nodded. "For my errands and schoolwork."

He gave me a long, hard look. Then he sighed. "Alright. Let's go eat."

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 **Okay, so it's been a while since I've written anything for Twilight. I hope it's alright, and I hope that no one is too OOC. Also, I'm not entirely sure how far i should go with the abuse Bella receives from Edward, since this is not an AU and he is still a vampire. But I'll try and keep it mostly mental, with a few things thrown in. The timeline might be slightly off, and I've altered it to where Sam recognizes the signs of changing, and he decides to bring Jake into the pack a little sooner, without letting him know what he is just yet. Like forming a friendship before there's a need for it. Anyway, enjoy. Hopefully I'll get out another chapter before the weekend. There won't be a set time for updates, but I'll go for weekly.**

 **Also, read with caution. I have no idea where I'm really going with this. So yeah. But I do plan on finishing it. -S**


	3. Two

**AN: honestly, Jake is being too pushy. why am i making him so pushy? oh well, i still love the love-sick pup. but just to clarify, he wasnt shoving himself and bella on emily and sam. they were in the know with his plan and agreed with it. anyway, second revision, yay! i'd like to finish them tonight, but that won't happen. money to made. ugh. im so tired. anyway, enjoy~**

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"You want me to bring you your overnight bag, Bells?"

"Please."

"She'll be fine, Charlie, don't worry. We've got her covered. And I'll bring Bella back myself when she wants to come home. Unless you happen to be visiting then, and then you can take her if you like, but don't worry about making another trip." Jake reassured Charlie with an easy smile.

Charlie looked uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I guess. But I think I'll still bring Bella's bag over tomorrow morning when I'm heading to work. It's in the opposite direction, but I'll just get up a little earlier. I know it'll set you at ease kid, I wouldn't like not having my stuff either." He grunted out a sigh and rocked back onto his heels. "Well if that's all, I think I'll get on home now. You be good, Bells."

"Always am." I stepped forward carefully to receive his awkward one arm hug and moved back to stand beside Jake. "Night Dad."

"Night, kid. See you 'round, Billy."

"Count on it." Billy tipped his head forward in acknowledgment with a smile. We all watched as Charlie walked off the porch and climbed into his cruiser, and laughed a little when he flashed his lights at us before pulling away. Jake, grin withstanding, turned to me.

"We'll go ahead and start walking to Emily and Sam's place. Paul, Jared, and Sam are staying with Jared so you and the girls can have the house to yourself for the night. Don't worry though, everyone will be there by morning for breakfast. Don't be alarmed if you get woken up by shouts and someone tripping over you or something. It's normal."

"I'm going to die. You want me to die. This was your plan all along." I teased, bumping my shoulder against his arm. A year ago we were about the same height. Now… well he towered at least a foot and a half over me. It was kind of pitiful. I'd missed so much of his growing up when I moved as a kid. And I'd gone and done it again since having Edward in my life. I'd neglected Jacob. I was a horrible friend.

"Jake… I'm sorry we haven't seen each other really at all over the past year. I—"

"Don't worry about it." Jake shrugged, looping his arm through mine. "You were busy. I was, too, sort of. Working on projects, doing actual work so I could afford said projects. We both had things that needed to be done. No hard feelings. You're here now, and that's all I care about."

The tightness in my chest was relieved slightly. "Thanks, Jake. You're too nice for your own good, you know that right?"

He grinned. "It's a blessing and a curse."

We walked in easy silence after that. I liked it on the Reservation. Everything was so easy going and laid back, it seemed. I could like the people. I had a little bit of family here. I had to keep myself from losing myself in a daydream of what it would have been like to live here, in La Push, with Jacob and Billy. But instead of blocking the mental pictures I got, I welcomed them. I could see myself and Charlie living here in a little house at the end of the road, or maybe next door to Jake. I would walk to Jacob's and we would walk back to Emily's and all hang out together. I would help Emily cook lunch for all the guys, and then we'd all run down to First Beach, barefoot even though it was cold and raining and have a bonfire to stay warm. We'd all tell stories, whether they be scary stories or old legends. And then we'd go home, only to do it all again the next day. I couldn't help but smile, my heart clenching painfully. Because I knew I would never have that. That was a Bella Swan for another lifetime. A parallel world where things were warmer and alive.

"What're you smiling about?" Jake asked, looking at me with a funny expression.

I shrugged, still smiling as he helped me up the steps to Sam and Emily's house. "Nothing of consequence. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Jake grinned. He stood there for a minute, clearly unsure of himself, before moving in for a hug. "I missed you, Bells." He said quietly, squeezing me a little tighter before letting go altogether. "Try not to drop off the radar again, 'kay?"

"I'll try not to." I said, trying to make myself believe it. But it didn't matter if I believed it or not, because Jake looked satisfied. His sad smile morphed into his trademark easy grin, setting his perfectly white teeth on display. I couldn't help but return the smile.

"Then have fun."

As he walked away, I turned to knock on the door, rocking back on my heels anxiously as I waited for it to open. A minute or two passed before it swung open, revealing a slightly disheveled and very pink Emily. She smiled when she realized it was me and stepped to the side, gesturing for me to come inside.

"Bella, hey! Come in. Sam was just about to leave for Jared's. Kim should be on her way now. She's bringing Leah along. Try not to be put off by my cousin. We're not on the best of terms, but it's mending. Hopefully you two will get along as well as the rest of us."

"Hopefully." I say quietly as I step into the entryway. Sam hooked his bag over his shoulder and leaned down to kiss Emily. I blushed and turned my face away quickly, looking around the open room instead of the happy couple. It was a little smaller than I'd expected, but it was very homely. The living room to my left had two couches and one loveseat bordering a large, plush looking rug. A very worn looking coffee table sat in the center in front of a small red brick fireplace. To my right was the kitchen, which looked a little bigger than the living room, with an island kitchen and two dining tables pushed together to form one big table, with more than twelve chairs surrounding it. Very much needed, I guessed, if everyone congregated here for meals and whatnot. I loved it.

"So!" Emily said once Sam had left, standing beside me now. "Is there anything you had in mind to do tonight? I honestly hadn't planned on having any guests over. I'm normally better prepared."

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to crowd on your night. But Jacob wasn't going to let me say no."

Emily laughed fondly. "He is very persistent. You'll learn to live with it. How about popcorn and scary movies? I've got a few new ones I've been dying to watch but haven't had the chance to."

"Sounds great."

"Perfect. I'll get everything set up. If you'd like, you can sit in the living room and wait. Kim and Leah will be here any minute. Don't be alarmed when they just come on in. Oh! That reminds me. If you're ever on the Rez and feel like stopping by, just come over. The door is always unlocked during the day, and only unlocked at night if I'm expecting anyone. You're family now so don't even give it a second thought."

"But we just met. We hardly know each other." I blurted, shocked.

She just smiled. "You're family to us now. Don't worry about anything."

"But-"

"Emily!" Kim shouted as she burst into the house, gasping. "There's a—"

"Kim, you're early." Emily said, interrupting Kim with a stern look. "Did you get your sleeping bags like I asked?"

For a second Kim looked confused, but then her eyes fell on me and widened. "Oh, Bella. I didn't even see you there. Emily, can I talk to you outside? It's really important."

"Of course. I'll be right back, Bella. Make yourself comfortable. I have three couches, so pick whichever you like best. They're all amazingly comfortable." And with that, Emily hurried outside with Kim. I ignored the urge to eavesdrop and walked over to the couches, sitting on each of them—bouncing up and down to test them out—before finally settling on the loveseat, relaxing back into the soft, worn cushions. I took off my boot and slid on my support brace, sighing in relief. I really hated that thing. I was glad I could wear the brace to sleep in now, and do some walking. It was so much quieter.

"So! Back to movie night!" Emily said as she hurried back inside. She immediately went to the kitchen. Kim stood in the entryway for half a minute before deciding to join me on the loveseat.

"I like this couch, too. It's the most broken in, so its squishier. It's awesome."

"I can move if you want to sleep here." I say, slightly alarmed. Strike two. First I barge into their lives unannounced via Jacob. Now I take someone's favorite spot. Good job, Bella. Good job.

"Oh no, don't worry about it." Kim said, waving a hand dismissively. She looked deceptively calm, but her eyes revealed how nervous she really was inside. Kim was almost as bad as I was about hiding her real feelings, only she seemed to babble away he anxiety. I didn't. It was nice to know we had something like that in common.

"So… if you don't mind me asking… what's going on?"

Kim jumped at my question, but before she could answer, Emily walked in with two large bowls of popcorn.

"She was just saying that Leah wasn't going to be joining us. It was a bit of a personal issue and we didn't want to alarm you with anything like that. We're supposed to be relaxing and enjoying ourselves for the next few days. So let's do just that."

And so we stayed up almost all night, watching scary movies and eating bowl after bowl of popcorn. At one point Kim went to the kitchen and brought back a case of beer. When I declined, she insisted, trying to explain to me that it wasn't normal beer—that it was fruitier than anything else. Like grown-up juice. It took Emily and Kim almost half an hour to convince me to drink one, but when I did, I won't lie and say I didn't like it a bit much. I probably drank the most between the two of us. After a long while of nursing our last bowl of popcorn, Emily offered to do my hair. And I let her put it up in one long braid down my back.

"You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend." Kim pouted, trying to keep her head still while Emily braided it. I watched, intrigued with the level of skill Emily had with doing hair. Kim's braids looked much more complicated, but they suited her face more than the French braid I had.

"It never came up." I shrugged. My tongue felt heavy and the room was sitting at an odd angle, despite the fact that I wasn't. I was sitting near perfectly straight. "I don't like to talk about him much."

"Why is that?" Emily asked distractedly, moving on to a new section of Kim's hair. "I love to talk about Sam when I get the chance. He spoils me, and I like to brag sometimes. He likes it when I brag about it."

"Jared doesn't. He feels like he has to compete sometimes. I tell him it's not a competition, but he doesn't listen." Kim rolls her eyes. "Boys…. Hey, let me up for a sec. I gotta pee."

Emily finished the braid she was working on, tied up the unbraided portion of Kim's hair, and then released her to go use the bathroom. When we were alone, she turned her attention to me. Despite the fact that we were both very drunk, her eyes seemed too focused.

"So… why don't you talk about your boyfriend much?"

I shrug a shoulder, trying to stay indifferent. I could feel my anxiety bubbling to the surface. "I just don't. I guess I'm not the bragging type."

"Yeah…" she nodded. "Yeah, you're pretty quiet about pretty much everything. Does he buy you gifts?"

"Oh he tries." I scoff, shaking my head. "And they're so extravagant. I turn him down a lot. I'm not a huge fan of gifts or surprises or anything like that, but he tries. I think his sister is plotting something for my birthday in September, but he won't give anything away."

"Your birthday is just a few months away!" Emily said excitedly. "I won't try to throw any surprises on you, but what would you say to a small bonfire party. Like we had tonight except a little bigger, and we'll cookout and I'll make a cake, and there will be presents from anyone who chooses to bring something. Please, Bella?"

I sighed. "Sure, I guess. But no surprises!"

"No surprises." She agreed with a grin. Kim came back then, plopping down in front of Emily once more, wobbling a little and catching herself before she fell over. She giggled and tilted her head back to look at Emily.

"Hurry up. I'm tired."

"Alright, alright. Five minutes tops. You're the one who wanted your hair braided all complicated-like."

"And you're the one who agreed to do it, knowing we're all drunk off our asses and ready to go to bed."

"Be quiet."

Not only did Kim fall silent, but not three minutes later, she'd fallen asleep. Emily struggled for another ten minutes with Kim's hair, having to braid and balance her head at the same time. I ended up having to hold Kim's head up for her while Emily braided. When it was all said and done I fell back onto the floor and immediately closed my eyes.


	4. Three

I knew there was a reason I didn't drink.

My head was pounding when I woke up the next morning, but thankfully that was the only thing that hurt. I vaguely remembered falling asleep on the floor with Emily and Kim, who were missing. Yet I had woken up on the couch. I don't believe either Emily or Kim were strong enough to lift me from the floor and onto the couch. So one of the guys must have done it early this morning. I'd have to thank whoever that was. They saved me from a world of pain.

I stretched and grimaced, pushing myself up from the couch and shuffling in the direction of the kitchen and the smell of coffee.

"Good morning, Bella." Emily said throwing a smile over her shoulder. "Coffee?"

"Please and thank you." I mutter, shielding my eyes from the sun as I take a seat at the table, not really paying attention to who I sat next to. I barely noticed that the conversations mostly stopped when I sat down. I only looked up to smile at Emily and thank her again when she brought me a cup of black coffee. I blew on it and sipped it, not even caring if it scorched my tongue at this point. If it got rid of this raging hangover I would down it right now.

As I set my cup back onto the table, I couldn't help the feeling of interrupting an important conversation. I looked up from my coffee, glancing at the tense faces sitting around the table. Sam sat at the head, closest to Emily, with Jared sitting a few chairs down to his left and Paul even more chairs to his right. Embry sat at the other end of the table. Out of all the ranging expressions, his seemed more annoyed than tense. I cleared my throat.

"So… uh, I woke up on the couch. Just a thanks to whoever did that."

Sam and Paul looked at each other before Sam looked at me and inclined his head. "You're welcome, Bella."

I chewed on my lip. So Sam had been the one to move me. I wasn't sure why I felt disappointed, but I did. Instead of dwelling on that feeling, I turned my attention to Emily, who was steady cooking. There was already so much food laid out on the counter tops. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was about to feed an army.

"Do you need any help, Emily? I'm not an awful cook."

"That'd be fine. Can you get the eggs out of the fridge? I always make those last since they get cold so quickly and don't take long to cook. Get all three cartons. Fry up about four eggs over-medium, and scramble about…" she paused, tapping her chin. "Twenty. That should be enough. No salt or pepper. I let the boys do that on their own. Some of them are still picky eaters."

At that comment, I heard Sam snort and the other guys chuckle quietly to themselves. Even Emily was smiling, like they were all having a good laugh over some inside joke. It was a lonely feeling, not being able to laugh with them about whatever it was that they were laughing about. I wanted to know, too.

I could hear the guys talking again now that I had left the table, except now their voices were hushed and they'd all moved a few chairs closer. Except for Paul. Where Embry had seemed the most annoyed at first, Paul seemed to have taken over that same irritation. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest and his eyes were distant and angry. He looked like he was barely paying any attention to the conversation. His eyes flicked in my direction, and for a split second his irritation switched to shock, like he hadn't been expecting me to be looking at him, too. But then his mask of anger snapped back into place and he was glowering at me.

"Bella? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" I looked over my shoulder at Emily, my eyes wide with guilt, like I'd been caught doing something I shouldn't have.

"I asked if there was anything in particular you wanted for brunch. I have pancakes and waffles, toast, eggs, grits, bacon and sausage, and homemade biscuits. If there was anything specific I need to know so I can make sure it gets a place on the table."

"Oh, uh… no. I'm good with all that you have."

"Are you sure? I don't mind making more. Really, this is sort of like your vacation so— "

A snort behind me made me turn to see who it could have come from, but Emily caught my attention again.

"I'm fine, really. I don't eat much to begin with."

"Alright, then. If you say so." Emily handed me a plate to put the over-medium eggs on. While I cooked the rest of the eggs, she piled the plate up with basically everything, and then turned to set it in front of Sam. He smiled at her and kissed her, saying something to her that had her smile wavering. I wondered what he could be saying to her, and why everything seemed to be so secretive.

It sort of reminded me of the way Edward used to be so neutral in the responses he gave to my ridiculous questions before I knew what he was. Except instead of giving me any sort of answer to be curious about, all of them were so vague. I looked between Sam and Emily, and then turned my eyes to the others sitting at the table.

When I looked at Paul, I was startled to see that he was still looking at me. And he still wore that angry expression. When he noticed that I had turned to look at him again, he sneered at me and turned to look at Jared, his mouth moving like he was talking, yet I couldn't hear anything.

What… was that about? Had I done something wrong? I tried thinking back, but honestly this was only my second real encounter with Paul. I'd never met him before last night. Emily had told me that the guys knew just as much about me as Jacob did. What had Jacob told them? It wasn't like I had ever done anything horrible, unless Jake was making things up now. I needed to talk to him. I may not have known any of them very well, but that didn't mean I wanted anyone to hate me before I even got to know them. Especially since I was beginning to love it here, on the Rez. It felt like a home away from home.

"Bella, will you help me set the table?"

"Oh, sure." I said, grabbing a few plates of the food Emily had made and slowly walked it over to the table, setting it in the middle.

Not long after the table had been set, the rest of the guys seemed to pile in. I watched Jake walk inside, his eyes scanning the room briefly before finding me, his expression going from happy to ecstatic in record time.

"Bells! Hey, did you sleep well?"

"As well as I can." I accept his hug and he pulls me down into the chair beside him, barely skipping a beat as he begins loading his plate. He points to things and puts a little on my plate as I nod.

"Really Bells? That's hardly a meal." He says, staring at my eggs, lonely pancake, and piece of sausage discontentedly.

"It's a meal for me." I say, rolling my eyes. "It's actually a bit too much. I probably won't finish it."

"Whatever you don't eat, I will." Jake said around a mouthful of food. "Wanna go see what I'm working on after breakfast? We can hang out in my garage for the day."

"Sounds like fun." I said, maybe a little too quickly. At least with Jake I wouldn't feel like I was stopping anyone from talking. The guys had seemed like they weren't happy I was around, like I had interrupted something. I didn't like that feeling. It felt similar to whenever I was with Edward. I never felt like I was interrupting something, but it was that same feeling of discontent. At least here, I could reason through why I was feeling it. I wasn't sure why I felt it with him. He'd never really done anything to _make_ me feel that way. That I knew of, I guess.

"Well, let's go ahead and go." Jake said around another mouthful, pushing away from the table, empty plate in his hand. I gaped at it, wondering where all that food could have possibly gone in such a short amount of time. He only grinned at me and shrugged a shoulder, rinsing his dish and hurrying back over, grabbing my wrist. "See y'all later!"

"Bye, Emily." I managed a wave before Jake pulled me outside. "Ow, ow, Jake! Slow down, I'm a cripple right now, remember?"

"Oops. Sorry, Bells." He stretched his arms above his head with a groan. "Jeez, I feel so much better! It was tense in there."

So I hadn't been the only one to feel it. "Jake, what have you been telling everyone about me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Emily told me the other day that you always talk about me to the guys, and I was getting some… unpleasant vibes off of a couple of them." And by a couple, I knew I meant Paul, but I wasn't going to single him out. If I did, I was afraid that Jacob might say something to him, and I may not know much but I knew Paul had a foul temper. I didn't want a fight to break out. Especially over me. "I can't imagine you saying anything bad about me, but I had to ask."

"Yeah, I guess I talk about you a lot… but I don't think I said anything to upset anyone. Who's giving you dirty looks?" Jake looked mildly irritated on the outside, but I could see in his eyes it burned deeper than simply mild irritation. He was angry. I could see his fingers twitching, like he was making an effort to keep them relaxed instead of clenching them into fists.

"I won't tell you, only because I know you'll say something. I don't want it to turn into a fight."

"Bella, if someone is making you feel uncomfortable here— "

"No, it's fine, really. I don't care. I just had to ask if you were saying anything that could have been misconstrued. C'mon Jake, let's just forget about it. I shouldn't have doubted you. Maybe I just did something wrong."

"You didn't do anything, Bella. It's probably just Paul being Paul."

"Right—wait! No, you can't do that. It's not fair!"

Jake laughed. "So it was Paul. I was right. Don't worry about him, Bell. If someone breathes the wrong way he's going to have an attitude about it. But if you can, try to avoid him."

"He can't be that bad…" I mutter, staring at the ground as we walked. I didn't really understand why I was trying to defend someone who already seemed to hate me, but I didn't want him to be painted as the bad guy. It wasn't right. I hardly knew him.

"He probably is; after everything I've heard about him."

I frowned, turning to sit on a nearby workbench. Jake leaned against his project car, crossing his ankles and hooking his thumbs in his jeans pockets.

"What all have you heard about him?"

Jake grimaced and scuffed the nose of his shoe against the floor. "Stuff. It's unimportant. What's important is you steer clear of him if at all possible."

"Jake?"

He sighed. "He's… dangerous."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. When I stood Paul next to Edward in my mind, sure… Paul looked scarier. But knowing what I knew, Paul was no match for Edward. And I couldn't take the word "dangerous" seriously anymore. I was in love with a vampire. I kissed danger on the mouth when he let me and enjoyed it. My best friend is a vampire. Her entire family are vampires. They kill to live. Sure they kill animals, but still. They live forever. Whatever Paul has done or still does in order to be seen as dangerous was nothing compared to that. It couldn't possibly measure up.

"What the hell are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry." I bit my lip to hide my smile. Jake looked irritated and unconvinced. After a long moment of silence, he sighed heavily and turned to work on his car.


	5. Four

It had to be really late by now. Probably two or three o'clock in the morning. I hadn't been able to sleep. Emily had long since gone to bed, choosing to sleep in her room tonight. Kim had left hours ago, which left me by myself, curled up on the loveseat with a thin blanket draped haphazardly across me.

It was pretty dark. The trees outside blocked most of the moonlight that might have shined through the windows on literally any other night. Not to mention the cloud cover was as thick as ever. I sat up and squinted through the darkness, trying to make out shapes. Emily's house was always neat and wasn't cluttered with things everywhere. If I didn't bump into furniture, I could probably make it to the front door unharmed. Though being able to make it anywhere unharmed was a toss-up. I swear gravity had a personal vendetta against me, not to mention my ankle was still mostly useless. Generally, I couldn't go anywhere without getting a new bruise or scrape—or, worst case scenario, a broken limb—if I didn't have Edward beside me. It made me reluctant to go places by myself.

Slowly I made my way toward the front door, keeping my hands stretched out in front of me. Eventually I made it, though not before making way too much noise and stubbing my toe on something hard and very painful. Or maybe it just felt like I was being too loud. Edward and his family didn't make any noise. They were incapable of it. It came with the territory of being predators.

I grabbed my shoes and opened the door, closing it softly behind me. I took a deep breath, the smell of rain still lingering in the air. I pulled on my shoes before stepping off the porch, then made my way towards First Beach. It just so happened to be the only place in La Push I knew how to get to without directions, besides Jake's house of course.

As I made my way towards the beach, my mind wandered. And by wandered, I meant it immediately boarded the Edward train of thought. Mostly I thought about how angry and worried he must be by now, knowing I hadn't come home yet. Knowing him, he was probably nearby, but never crossing over the border into La Push. He'd never done it. I didn't know why it was forbidden, but none of the Cullens' were allowed on the reservation. It was odd to me that there was a specific ban against them, but I'd never really gotten a full story out of either Edward or Jake. The skinny of it was because they were vampires.

But how did the people here know that?

I assumed I was probably the only one to know their secret, but now I'm thinking that was probably really naïve of me to think. They've all been around much longer than I have, so maybe somewhere along the line something happened and someone on the reservation discovered them and banned them. But how were humans supposed to enforce something like that? The Cullens' were _vampires_. I wasn't sure there was a better way to stress that. They were immortal predators with supernatural strength and speed. They needed blood to survive. If there was a human alive who could oppose that kind of strength, I wanted to know who they were, if only for the novelty of seeing a vampire's strength tested by someone with a heartbeat.

As I approached the water, I eased off my shoes, took off my brace, and waded in ankle deep, burying my toes in the wet sand. It was freezing, but I could stand the chill for a few minutes. I enjoyed the feeling of the waves lapping at my ankles. It was relaxing.

Standing there, my mind drifted to my afternoon with Jacob. We'd sat in his garage all day, laughing and joking with each other. Sometimes I would hand him some tool or another. Other times I would stand and lean over his car so I could watch what he was doing—not that I knew much of anything about cars. Which was why I was very glad to have such a good mechanic at my fingertips who charged me no more than a few hours out of my day to spend with him. It was a win-win situation, in my opinion. But my mind kept wandering backwards, thinking about our brief conversation about Paul.

Jacob hadn't given me much to work with—apparently he knew very little himself, seeing as how he was the newest to the group besides Quil, and even Quil wasn't even a part of the group just yet. He mostly stuck around because he didn't want to feel left out. Jake and Embry were his best friends. Anyway, I'd learned of several fights he'd gotten into, a little of half of them landing him in jail for a few nights. In those fights, he'd been the aggressor, being described as terrifyingly violent. He'd nearly killed on the people he'd fought with, putting him in the hospital for months. Paul disappeared for a little while after that, and it seemed like only Sam knew where and why.

When Paul came back, he was quieter. Just as foul-tempered as before, but he didn't lash out quite as much as he used to. Most people still kept a wide berth around him, but they didn't look outright fearful anymore, according to Jake. The guys are the only ones stupid enough to test his temper. He told me he didn't understand why they would do something like that, saying that he himself only pushes the boundaries until Paul stops snapping back. When he's quiet after being provoked, it's best to shut up and walk away—quickly. That's what Jacob told me.

I sighed and took a few steps back out of the water, stumbling and falling on my butt in the wet sand. I grumbled irritably but stayed where I was. I was wet now… no sense in jumping up. I'd probably only fall right back down.

"You really are a klutz."

"Paul!" I spin around in the sand and look up. Paul was standing over me, with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, a displeased and angry expression on his face. I turned away, facing the ocean again. "What are you doing up so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He snapped. "And you're alone."

"I couldn't sleep." I said quietly, wringing my hands. I felt shocked. I'd wanted to snap back at him with an _it's none of your business_ and _why don't you go bother someone else, I'm not in the mood._ "I just needed some time to myself."

There was a long stretch of silence where I thought maybe he'd left. A part of me didn't want him to leave. It was an irrational part of me that I totally didn't understand, and I wasn't entirely sure I liked it. I had Edward. I loved him. He was mine and I was his, so there should be no reason I wanted this angry stranger to stay beside me and talk to me. I was being ridiculous.

"Why?"

So he hadn't left. I assumed he might have. He'd been so quiet coming in, I figured he'd be just as quiet leaving. "I don't know. A lot of things. Mostly stuff I'd never questioned before. And I don't know how to feel about any of it." I paused, looking up at the cloudy sky, willing the clouds to part and show some of the sky. I wanted to see the moon and the stars tonight. Maybe having a clear sky would help me clear my mind. "I have to leave tomorrow."

Another unnervingly long silence. When I finally turned around, I half expected him to be standing there, trying to come up with an answer to my out-of-the-blue statement. But when I turned around, he was gone.

* * *

 **AN: last revision! im glad it was pointed out to me that bella would have still been injured at this point in the timeline. because honestly, her injury could really make this good for me. i mean, maybe not for paul or anyone else, but... you know. evil, conniving author. ahhaha.**


	6. Five

"Bella, you know we have weekends like this at least twice a month. I would love it very much if you were to stay with us on those days." Emily smiled, giving me a firm hug. "It was so lovely getting to know you, finally. You know, not from a third party."

I laughed. "Yeah, I know. I really loved being here. Just let me know what days everyone is getting together and I'll make sure I'm free those days."

"Will we have to come and get you? It wouldn't be a problem at all." Emily offered.

"Oh no, Charlie can bring me. Or I can drive myself." Maybe. "He's always looking for an excuse to visit Billy. He'll be thrilled to know I'll actually be socializing this summer."

Emily's smile was consistent, but her eyes were troubled. "Alright, well you know how to reach us if anything unexpected comes up or if you need something. For absolutely anything, don't hesitate to call on us, Bella."

"I know." I gave her another hug, urged by the concern in her eyes. "You'll be the first one I call if I need anything."

"Good." Emily nodded and stepped back, folding her hands across her stomach. I looked around at all the faces. I'd already said my temporary goodbyes. I was just waiting on Charlie. He should be here any minute now.

"He's not here." I heard Sam say, making me jump. I tried to look confused, but he wasn't fazed. "He's on a job."

Another wave of disappointment crashed over me, just as confusing as it had been before. I shrugged it off and turned around when I heard Charlie's cruiser in the driveway, shifting the gravel and dirt noisily.

"I'll have Jacob give you a call when we get those days planned out." Emily called after me. "See you soon, Bella."

"Yeah, see you." I waved at all of them and hurried as fast as I could over to the cruiser, climbing in the front and pulling on my seatbelt.

"Have fun?" Charlie asked as he backed out.

I waved one last time and then glanced at him. "Yeah, it was fun. We went to the beach a lot, watched movies, and did each other's hair." I decided to omit the part where we all got drunk. Need to know, right?

"Sounds girly enough." Charlie chuckled, shaking his head a little. "Well I'm glad you had fun. It's about time you got some new friends."

"Dad…" I complained. "I have friends."

"I've never seen you go out much, unless it's with the Cullen boy." His mouth twisted into a grimace. He didn't like Edward, not after the incident with James. Though of course he only knew what we told him, which was definitely a good thing. If he knew the truth, or at least some of it, then he'd try to kill Edward for sure. "It's good to take a break from… certain people once in a while."

"You make it sound like I never leave the house."

Charlie said nothing, but he stared guiltily out the window, only glancing in my direction when he was checking his side mirrors.

"I'm not that bad." I mutter, looking out my window. "Anyway, we're making plans for another girls' night at Emily's. Just let me know when Jake calls to give me the days."

"Holing up in your room again?" Charlie asked innocently, pulling into the driveway. We sat there for a minute, me staring at him incredulously, and him with this look on his face that made me feel like he knew exactly what I was doing upstairs. That sounded bad even to me. I don't do anything upstairs, I just sit with Edward. It's not like he would let anything happen anyway… _Shut up, Bella._

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you." I say as I get out. "I'll be downstairs later to cook dinner."

I made sure to walk up the stairs as slowly as I could, knowing Edward had to be waiting for me. I was honestly surprised he hadn't pulled me out of Charlie's cruiser himself. I knew I was in for a verbal beat down. I had it coming. I made the decision to stay in La Push spontaneously and made no effort to let him know. Whatever I got I probably deserved.

Walking into my room was another shock, at first. I didn't see Edward. He wasn't pacing the floor, he wasn't laying or sitting on my bed. Nothing. Except when I turned to the side to shoulder my door closed, he was standing there behind me. He pushed my door closed, his expression as calm as ever. But the lock on my door clicks. It'd do nothing to keep a vampire out… but it'd stall a human. My dad, for example. Or me. Not that I'd be able to go anywhere. I felt the smallest trace of fear—the first I'd ever really felt around Edward.

He smiled at me, like he always did, and grabbed my hand to gently pull me in the direction of my bed. I sat down but he didn't. He walked over to the wall across from my bed and leaned against it, his eyes never leaving me. My heart was racing in my chest. I was honestly surprised it hadn't beaten through my ribcage by now.

"How was your weekend?"

My heart nearly stopped.

"Oh… it was fun. Hung out with Jake and his friends… m-mostly Emily and Kim." I wrung my hands together. "I spent most of my time with the girls. Watching movies… doing hair… going to the beach…" My voice trailed off. His expression wasn't changing. That's what was scaring me. Wasn't he angry? I half expected him to explode. But here he was.

Not exploding.

"And you didn't think it might be a good idea to contact me?"

And there it was.

"Edward I—"

"Do you realize how selfish you were?" His expression was mix between irritation and concern. "I had no way of knowing why you didn't come home until Charlie returned. You know I can't step foot on the reservation. It was outrageously irresponsible of you, Bella. I was worried sick."

"If you would just—"

"This is why I can't trust your judgment. You don't make good decisions for yourself. Something could have happened to you. Do you remember what happened with James?"

I flinched. "That was different." I whispered. "They would never hurt me."

Edward was in front of me then, gripping my wrists. I gasped and tried to pull them out of his grasp but nothing happened. Of course nothing happened. He was inhumanly strong. I guess I was hoping he'd take the hint that he was hurting me.

"You hurt yourself, most of the time." Edward insisted. "You're a walking danger magnet, Bella. I always have to be here to protect you. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you. I love you too much."

"I love you too, Edward. But—"

"Don't go back."

"What?"

"I said don't go back." His grip loosened but he didn't let go. "It's too dangerous and I can't be there with you."

For a brief second, I wished I could hit him. "No, Edward. I've already made plans to go back."

"I won't let you."

"You can't stop me."

His eyes went wide with shock, and then hardened. Cold, like amber-colored ice. It sent chills down my spine. He stood up and took a step back.

"Something changed."

"Nothing has changed. I'm just not going to let you keep me from seeing my family." I retorted quietly, the fight inside of me nearly gone now. "I loved being there. I didn't know I would. And I'm going back whether you like it or not. If you try and stop me, I'll have someone come and get me. Or Charlie will take me. Good luck telling my father, the Chief of Police, no. Vampire or not, it won't be a good day for you."

"Bella—"

"Get out." I was whispering now before the last of my sudden bravado left me. "I want to be alone."

Edward stood there for a second, his expression twisted into a grimace of anger and confusion. I never acted this way. I always told him yes and I never ever went against what he said. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright… but maybe on some level he was right. Something had changed. I just didn't know what it was yet. Clearly neither did he. And he wasn't happy about it.

Before I could blink, he'd disappeared. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and looked down at my wrists, realizing I was going to have to figure out how to cover up these new bruises. Hopefully they will have faded by the next time I went to the Rez. I wouldn't know how to explain these away. Hell, they couldn't be explained away. Each bruise was distinctly in the shape of hands and fingertips. It was obvious what it was. I sighed and fell back against my bed, closing my eyes.

A small part of me wished I hadn't been so insistent on getting into Edward's life. It was becoming more trouble than I could have ever anticipated. Though, what I could have anticipated would have been much better than having to deal with the whims of a vampire. A controlling vampire. A vampire that could make me feel so special because falling in love with a human just wasn't done. Because the human was changed or killed—or died, over time.

I wanted to be with him forever, but he wouldn't change me. I didn't know why. Did he want to be with me forever? Or did he feel like he loved me now, but didn't want to love me for eternity? Did he expect to get tired of me? Was I worth the trouble I was causing?

This train of thought caused tears to well up and spill over. I cried for a while. I don't know how long, but it was long enough for Charlie to come upstairs and ask if I wanted any pizza. I pretended to be asleep, holding my pillow over my face. He left after covering me with my blanket, talking quietly. He must have been on the phone. I hadn't caught what he was saying, but the woman on the other end was loud enough.

My mom. I took a deep breath and rolled over, staring out my window. A part of me wanted Edward beside me. Another part of me was glad he wasn't there. The rest of me was confused beyond reason. What did I want exactly? What had changed? Why did I feel like I had forgotten something? Well… not forgotten. Like it was gone. Like a piece of me was missing. Yet I had always felt complete with Edward beside me.

When sleep finally took me, I dreamt of a gray wolf.


	7. Six

"Tonight!" I exclaim, staring at the phone receiver in shock. "Jake I don't know if can come tonight. Edward gave me an ultimatum last week about making short notice decisions like I did. I have no way of telling him if I go right now."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I forgot to tell you the other day. Emily asked me to but she asked while I was working and it totally slipped my mind." He sounded genuinely apologetic. "And forget about Cullen. He's not your father. Charlie knows you're gonna be down here tonight 'cause my dad called yesterday and told him."

"He didn't…" I groaned. This was so not okay. Why hadn't Charlie mentioned it to me or something? "Jake, I want to go but I just really can't. You can't drop something like this on me last minute."

"So what did he say?"

"Who?"

"Edward. You said he gave you an ultimatum. Are you alright?"

I chewed on my lip and pulled at the cuffs of my flannel. "I'm fine." I lied. Really, I was. Besides some more bruises, there was nothing wrong. But they were obviously made by hands. My fingertips fit perfectly in some of the smaller parts of the bruises, and they'd yet to completely fade. I was kind of glad it didn't get too hot here, otherwise I'd be dying from a heat stroke. "He just doesn't like when I don't tell him where I'm going. It doesn't matter. The point is that I just can't."

"But Emily was really excited to see you again."

I felt like he was just trying to guilt trip me now. "Jacob."

"Isabella."

I sighed, about to repeat myself for the hundredth time since answering the phone, before I heard three quick knocks on the front door.

"Hold on, I think I heard knocking."

"If you hang up, I'm coming to get you."

"Jeez, chill, Jake. I'm not hanging up. Give me a second." I set the phone down on the counter and limped towards the front door. I opened it and frowned when I saw no one there, leaning outside and looking around. Before I shut the door, I looked down, and gasped in shock. A very colorful, very ostentatious bouquet was sitting on the porch with a small card tied to the crystal vase. I picked it up carefully, shocked by the weight of it, and set it on the counter.

"Still there?" I asked as I picked up the phone, picking through the flowers.

"Yup. So what happened?"

"Uh, I just got a ton of flowers delivered to my door." I said, staring at the card I'd yet to read. "It looks expensive."

"Ooh, who's it from?"

I peeked at the card. It was his handwriting, but it wasn't signed. "I'm not sure, there's no name."

"They're probably apology flowers or something." Jake said dismissively. "That big of a fight, huh? Guess he realized you were right and he was wrong and wanted to make up for it."

I snorted. Yeah right. "Well, I'll see you later, Jake."

"Does that mean— "

"Yes. Come get me in about an hour. I need to find some things to wear over the weekend and take a shower. When you get here you can stay for lunch, if you like."

"I won't say no to that!" He said excitedly. "See you in an hour Bells!"

"See you." I say as I hang up the phone. I stand there for a minute, staring at the card, contemplating on whether or not I wanted to open it and see what it said. I wasn't sure if I did. Because Jake was probably right. This was Edward saying sorry without actually having to allow the words to come out of his mouth. I rolled my eyes, cut the card off the vase, and tossed it in the garbage.

I didn't care. At least, I didn't care at this very moment. Because the fact remained that Edward wasn't going to tell me who I could and couldn't visit anymore. If I wanted to go down to the reservation and spend a few nights with Emily, I was going to. I wasn't a child. I had taken care of my mom for as long as I could remember. I don't even recall getting the chance to be a child. I had to grow up because my mother had never learned how.

I was seething. But I didn't want to throw away the flowers. Despite not reading the note and still being upset with him, I really did like them. I'm sure they were ridiculously expensive, because Edward would have nothing less, but they were beautiful, and the kitchen already smelled of flowers. They hadn't been in the house for longer than five minutes. I carried them over to the kitchen table and set them in the center, adjusting them until I was happy, and then hobbled up the stairs to wander around my room and find clothes to wash. I hadn't done laundry since I'd left Emily's the last time, almost a week and a half ago. I knew I needed to, I just hadn't felt like it. Summer always drains me of energy.

Once the laundry is started, I find a pair of shorts and a tank top, along with one of my dad's old flannels to wear after a quick shower. After I get dressed, I wrap my hair in a towel and slowly make my way back to the kitchen to fix sandwiches. It was quick and easy, and I could wrap up a few for Charlie for whenever he got home. It wouldn't be a great dinner, but it would be something. He'd probably just end up ordering pizza. Sometimes I wondered how he got by without me. At least in the kitchen.

I was probably elbow deep in sandwiches when I heard a knock at the door.

"Come in, it's unlocked." I shouted, finishing up the seventh sandwich. That's all I was going to make for now. I'd only eat one, but Jake would happily eat them all while we waited for my clothes to dry.

"Hey, Bells!" Jake grinned as he came into the kitchen, his eyes flickering briefly in the direction of the flowers before returning to me, his nose crinkling slightly. "That bad, huh?"

I laugh. "No… he's just…" I grimace, trying to find the right words. But since I can't, at least not for Jacob's sake, I shrug. He laughs and sits down at the table, pushing the flowers as far away as he can without throwing them off the table.

"They stink." He grimaced. "They're strong as hell."

"Really? I love the way they smell." I sat the sandwiches on the table and took the flowers, setting them on the furthest counter. "Maybe you just have a ridiculously keen nose."

He shrugged, already half done with his first sandwich. "Probably. It's so weird."

By the time I sit down and take a bite, he's already almost done with his second. We sit in silence for a few minutes while we eat. I half expect Edward to just walk in, but he would probably see Jake's car out front or something and leave, or maybe go up to my room and wait. Actually, it was kind of sunny out today so he might not even come over. It's days like this that he was probably out with his family today, hunting. That's usually what they did when the sun was out. It was so rare for Forks to see the sun. They should make it some sort of holiday at this point.

"So we're just going to have a bonfire tonight." Jake said suddenly. I turned my attention to him. "We normally have a bonfire once a month, because that's about how often we can drag everyone together. But Emily wants you to stay for another girls' weekend. Kim is excited to see you, too. They really like you, Bells. I think that it's so cool everyone on the Rez likes you. Or mostly everyone."

His grimace catches more of my attention than his praise. "Why do you say mostly everyone?"

He sighs. "Just forget about it, Bells. You can't please everyone."

"It's Paul, isn't it?"

He doesn't say anything.

"I don't get it. What did I even do to him?" I cross my arms over my chest, fuming. "It's not fair. He doesn't even know me, but as soon as he lays eyes on me, I get this unwarranted attitude. And I sort of talked to him my last night in La Push, but the conversation was less than two minutes if you don't count the stretched periods of silence when he was probably figuring out something not outright hostile to say to me. I'm so done with it."

Jacob stared at me in shock. "Bella, I don't think I've ever seen you really mad."

"I am mad!" I push myself up from the table, grab the empty plate that once held sandwiches, and limped over to the sink to wash it. "Because it's just not fair. He hasn't even given me the chance to make a good impression. He just hates me for no reason."

"Oh, come on, Bells. Just let it go." Jacob stands up and leans against the counter next to me. "He's like that with a lot of people, I guess."

"Name one."

"What?"

"Name someone else he's this hostile towards."

Jake frowned. "Bella—"

"You can't, can you?"

"You're getting riled up over nothing."

I sigh and lean forward, holding my face in my hands. "I know… I just… I don't understand. And that's what upsets me the most. I didn't do anything. That I know of, at least. I just want him to tell me what I did to offend him and I'll fix it."

After a few minutes, I stand up straight and move towards the laundry room. "I better get my stuff packed so we can go. Can you go up to my room and get my bag? It should be laying on my bed already. I don't feel like braving the stairs again today."

"Sure, sure. Anything else?"

I shrug. "Not that I can think of."

He's already run to my room, grabbed my bag, and come back by the time I'm halfway to the laundry room. Jake just laughs, scoops me up, and carries me in that direction, helping me stuff my bag full of clothes. I don't even protest when he picks me up to carry me back to the kitchen. I take the little notepad on the counter and write a note for Charlie.

 _Dad,_

 _I made some sandwiches for you when you get home. I went with Jake for a bonfire tonight on the Rez and I'll be staying another few nights with Emily. I'll call you later. Love you._

 _Bella_

I hang the note up on the fridge and look around, making sure I'm not forgetting anything. I nod to myself, unwrap the towel from my head, and throw my hair up in a bun. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

 **(IMPORTANT) AN: yes, bella left for the rez in a tank top and shorts. no. i dont care. haha. anyway, i know i said i would try and update weekly, but it seems as though i'll update whenever i feel like it, being that i've updated twice today already. but the weekly thing still stands. even if writers block is killing me, i'll try and put out at least one chapter per week. that is my solemn oath to everyone. because i am determined to finish this story. hopefully it will set a precedent for me to actually finish literally anything else i do in life. ha!**

 **as a side note, i know the timeline is soooooo off. i thought i was doing good with it, but apparently im not. im realizing my flaws as i go. so im going to lay it out here!**

 **This was intended to take place in-between Twilight and New Moon, and still does. Whenever Bella referred to not seeing Jake for about a year, give or take, we'll just say it refers to not seeing him throughout Twilight and a bit of the summer. Close enough to be a year, right? Because I don't think I said exactly a year or anything. Bella always says "like a year" so we're good. I'm good. You're good. We're all good. Also, I get her injuries may have healed mostly by now, and they have, I guess. But I'm dragging it out. I'm milking it for all it's worth. Jake hasn't phased yet, but will soon. The Cullens' still leave for the same reasons, Bella just gets over it faster because of her La Push family. And yeah, so that's it. I don't wanna spoil too much.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Much love. -s**


	8. Seven

**AN: this chapter... literally did not go in the intended direction. i had the scene all plotted out, and it was going great... and then i just... derailed. i dont know. it got off kilter and i dont think i regret it. sure, yeah, maybe its a bit fast paced but im a shit writer and i embrace it. cause im just doing what i love. but i hope you guys love it too because im quite fond of this chapter. i love paul. he's so multi-faceted and im trying to show that. and bella isn't just some compliant house wife. theyre perfect for each other. why they weren't the canon pairing, i'll never know. it would have made a much more interesting series, in my opinion. then again, i just hate edward. oops. anyway, i'll stop talking now. enjoy! cause im going to sleep! maybe! ha! -s**

* * *

I think the beach had to have been one of my favorite things about La Push. I loved being able to go down to the beach whenever I wanted to relax. Localized beaches everywhere else were so crowded and saturated with people. This one stayed relatively empty, especially at night when the temperatures dropped. I loved to sit in the sand just in front of where the waves crashed against the shore and close my eyes and just listen. To the waves, to the wind rushing through my ears. It helped take my mind off of all of my constant worries.

There was always something to worry about. School. Charlie. Renee. Edward. My mortality. The Cullens'. My looming birthday. Paul.

There were some worries I couldn't even escape from here, but they weren't as pressing as the ones back in Forks. They were ridiculous worries in comparison, and some part of me even wondered why I labeled them as worries. They were more like passing moments or thoughts that bothered me.

Like Paul.

It bothers me that my mind returns to him a lot now these days, when before my first night in La Push not only had I never known he existed, but it was the first time we'd met, and there hadn't been many words exchanged. It bothered me that he was so upset with me and I hadn't done anything to offend him, to my knowledge. And above all, it bothered me that I should feel like he should be sitting next to me right now, comforting me and telling me everything would be alright. I shouldn't worry. I was safe here. And yet this nagging feeling persisted.

I didn't feel like my sanity was safe here. Not for the moment at least.

I sighed and laid back in the sand, closing my eyes. I could try and forget for now. I could lay here and listen to the rolling waves and breathe in the salty air and just stop thinking. I wanted to. But I've never been lucky enough for something so simple.

"Do you ever sleep?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little. One day I wouldn't. Hopefully. "I guess it depends on the night."

I heard the sand shift beside me and I opened one of my eyes, peeking over at Paul, who was sitting a few feet away. His expression was unusually resigned, but his nose was still crinkled. Like he smelled something he didn't like.

Well it wasn't me. I showered this morning.

"I don't sleep much either." He commented without looking my way.

I considered that for a moment. "Why?"

He shrugged. "I've got a lot on my mind. Especially here recently." At that, his calm expression was replaced with a mildly irritated look. But honestly, he just seemed tired to me.

"Me too." I said, sitting up and pulling my knees against my chest. I shivered and he scooted an inch or two closer, like it was second nature. I frowned. "Paul?"

He looked at me, his brows knit in frustration. He was thinking about something. I could see it in his eyes. "What?"

I looked away. "Do you hate me?"

"No."

It wasn't how quickly he responded that made me jump in surprise. It was the shock in his voice. Like my question had taken him by surprise. Like he'd been expecting literally anything else to come out of my mouth. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath until I felt my chest get tight. I let it out in a gasp and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. The relief I felt was irrational and stupid. I shouldn't be so happy. But I was.

"Oh. Okay." I nodded quickly and hugged my knees a little tighter, crushing them against my chest. "Well, that's good."

There was a long stretch of silence between us. Five minutes or thirty minutes could have passed and I never would have known. I stretched my legs out after what seemed like forever and picked at my nails when my shoulders got stiff from sitting still for so long. Sometimes I would glance at him, but he seemed contented to sit there in silence, looking out over the ocean. Our eyes met once, and he'd quickly looked away, that irritated look coming back full force.

I huffed and stretched my arms out in front of me. "I think I'm just… gonna go. It was nice to learn that you don't actually hate me. Maybe I'll sleep now that one of my worries has been set to rest. See you around, Paul."

"Wait!" He reached out and grabbed my wrist to keep me from leaving. I flinched and yanked my hand away out of reflex. It hadn't hurt—the bruises were nearly gone now. Only I knew they were there. But looking up at Paul made my pulse quicken.

He was _livid._

"Paul?"

He stood abruptly, shaking so hard I thought I could hear his teeth chattering.

"Paul!"

"I gotta go." He ground out, still shaking. He stumbled back a step, his eyes wide with a terrifying mix of fury and fear. I scrambled to my feet and took a step towards him, extending my arm, brushing my fingers over his hand. His skin was hot! It burned like he was on fire. It reminded me of Jacob's warmth, but it was different. Paul burned much hotter.

"Don't touch me! You need to back up." He gasped between clenched teeth. He pressed his fists hard against his temples, doubling over.

"I don't know what's wrong, but you're not scaring me. You need help." I took another step forward, reaching out with both hands to hold his arms. His tremors had slowed significantly but hadn't stopped. His breathing wasn't nearly as labored but it was still heavy. He shook his head slowly back and forth, muttering.

"Paul, speak up. I can't hear you."

"I don't understand." He looked up at me, his eyes flicking back and forth, searching for something. He looked down at my hand on his arm, his frown deepening. He looked back up at me. Tired again.

"Why does it have to be you?"

I blinked. "What?"

Gently, he removed my hand from his arm, but he didn't let it go. He looked at it, like he was comparing it to his. I could see faint yellowish color of fading bruises around my wrist. From so close, I was sure he could see them now too. They were obvious to me now. I was so much paler than him it was almost funny. Or it might have been if I weren't so dumbfounded by what he'd just said.

"What is that supposed to even mean?" I ask quietly, staring at our hands, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. Compared to Edward, Paul was fire. His volatile emotions, his physical temperature. It was so different to me, and not entirely unwelcome.

He shook his head and let go of my hand. I felt the loss of his warmth immediately. Paul turned without a word and walked quickly away without another look. I wasn't sure what to do with myself after that, so I began walking towards Emily's house. I didn't know what to think, either. He didn't hate me. That was a plus… but what did he mean by "why does it have to be you?" I didn't get it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to.


End file.
